We were fortunate to get tickets for the one Easter Pageant performance that people will be talking about for a long time. As in past years, angels adorned the ceiling. and animals bleated and mooed along with the church choir and orchestra. The auditorium transformed majestically from Jerusalem, to Gethsemane, to Golgotha, to the tomb, and to the upper room. It was resplendent, and would have been perfect had Jesus not fallen off the cross. To say the least, it took us all by surprise.
Since the actor wore no upper garment, it was impossible to use a harness to hold him during the crucifixion scene. Instead the prop committee designed something like a retractable bicycle seat that the actor could straddle. Leather thongs then held his arms to the cross. As one of the stagehands later explained on Channel 3, “The mechanism had never failed before.”
We couldn’t see exactly what happened, but apparently the seat gave way. When only one leather thong broke, the actor came swinging down sideways, still attached by one hand. Twisting uncontrollably, he kicked the head off a mannequin cow. The head slid the entire length of the stage, finally stopping at the feet of a horrified Roman soldier and spinning like a hairy hubcap. The solder, trying desperately to stay in character, casually kicked it offstage, as if dealing with cow pieces was a routine part of a centurion’s duties. All the while Jesus spun helplessly by one arm, the thong tightening painfully on his wrist, his feet inches above the ground. No one came to help.
After perhaps thirty seconds the lights went out, and we watched penlights running from backstage toward the cross. I heard the panicked voice of a stage manager complaining that the cross was jammed and couldn’t be lowered, followed by, “Just get him down! Get him down!”
Then we all heard Jesus, shouting in an agonized but commanding voice, “No, get me back up there now!”
After a few moments the lights eased up, and the play continued with Jesus straddling the seat, still tied tightly by one hand and clinging to the cross with the other. The rest of the cow had been removed.
Surprisingly I only felt a tinge of embarrassment and amusement. On the other hand, in our information age, a story like this travels fast. Within a day articles began to appear in newspapers across the country. They were mostly short, humorous human interest stuff. The Untied Press headline read “Jesus Falls Off Cross,” while several trashier tabloids used leads like “Messiah Decapitates Cow.”
Not surprisingly they all missed the point. Not one spoke of the actor—not one mentioned that he could have quit. He could have come down but went on with his performance. Not one of the reporters quipped, “What do you suppose Jesus would have done had he fallen off the cross?”
If they had dared to ask that, they might have seen the truth. Jesus would have done the same. For it was his intent to be on that cross. It was his plan all along. No one could have taken him off. Pilate thought he put Jesus up there. The mob thought they were vindicated, but Jesus was in control the whole time, right where he had planned to be.
Jesus knew that without Good Friday, there could be no Easter.
About Bob Stromberg: From his home in St Paul, Minnesota Bob is sought after from corporations, nonprofits and media industry professionals from all over the world. He entertains and inspires with his unique and perfect blend of story, standup and shtick. Bob is also the co-author and original stars of the megahit theatrical comedy, Triple Espresso, which has been seen by almost two million people from San Diego to the West End of London. The Chicago Sun Times called Bob“…a mesmerizing physical comedian.” The London Times called him “…a genuinely funny man.” Bob Stromberg is also the author of the blog “Life on the Carousel.“ For more information call 615 283 0039 or email.
