This whole running thing is new to me. I was never much of a runner prior to this. I used to run about a mile or two, buy a half a dozen donuts and then run back. Never understood why I kept gaining weight. I quit running and promptly lost 22 pounds. Weird, huh?
Anyway, this run is to honor my lovely wife and her milestone of passing a decade free from cancer. She says I am only killing myself so that I can get the really neat t-shirt and Kuzie. (She is only half right, the Kuzie is really, really cool.)
This training has begun to take its toll on my 53-year-old body. I went to the doctor the other day to get a blood test, feeling kind of lethargic. He told me I had an unusual amount of estrogen in my system. Certainly explains a lot… especially what has happened to my golf game.
One thing is, I used to break my putters when they didn’t work the way they were supposed to. Lately I have been crying and drowning my putting woes in a chocolate milkshake. I also can’t stop talking. The rounds with me are 30 minutes longer, but at least my friends say I “feel their pain” when they miss a three-footer. The doctor says I need some testosterone.
I have just rented the movies Rocky 1 through 5. Hopefully this will do the trick and I will be back to hitting from the white tees and breaking my putters in time for the State Open qualifier. My friends will be happy to hear that. They prefer the old curmudgeon Jeff to the feminized version. I am hoping after a couple of days with Sylvester Stallone, I will get back to my old self and start laughing at them again.
BTW, I cannot thank those of you who have donated to Gilda’s Club enough. We have raised over $3,000 so far, with over a month to go. Thank You! It is a great cause. Hopefully, next newsletter I will be able to tell you about finishing my first and last marathon. Now if you will excuse me, I’ve been on the road for a week and need to catch up on my Oprah.
Jeff Allen obliterates the lines between Christian Comedians, Corporate Comedians, Inspirational Speakers, and just plain Hilarious! For more information on him call Tim Grable at 615 283 0039 or email
